UGH!

I have overscheduled my New York time, that's the long and short of it. Today was the first day that I really and definitely should have had plenty of time to run, but I still didn't get out at all - I only slept for a couple hours last night, due to insomnia, and crashed this afternoon for several hours of very deep sleep.

I'm taking the Philadelphia marathon off the sidebar, much as it disgusts me to back out of yet another race. I need to go to Portland, Maine this weekend for a wedding, I need to go to Philadelphia for at least a day next weekend, I leave for Buffalo on the 21st for a couple days of conference before returning to Cayman, tomorrow night I'm out all evening giving a talk and tonight I will see my brother for the first time in many months then go to a play with my grandfather (dinner to follow) - it's the season of meeting with my grad students on the job market and writing letters of recommendation - all these are good and important things, but incompatible with re-initiating my training plan at a time of discouragement and low motivation - if I'd run a lot in the past week, I suppose it would still be just about feasible to run a full marathon the week before Thanksgiving, but I am looking at the timeframe and thinking it really is pointless and stupid to push ahead with a notion that bears no relation to the reality I am currently living!

I'm pretty desperate for a return to a steady and predictable fitness regimen, in other words, but it was unrealistic to think that the New York time would be the start of it - too much other stuff to do here, including a lot of work things that I am packing into too short a time. Will be back in Cayman by the end of the day on Sunday the 24th, will dig in thereafter on book revisions (the little book on style) and fitness, but not with a run focus in particular.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!